Ben was gone most of last week... I really hate it when he's gone... have I mentioned that?
He left on Wednesday morning and came home on Saturday evening. Not only was this a longer-than-usual work trip, but it came after a long weekend; I had been spoiled with his presence (one of the dialects of my love language) so it was extra hard to have him gone for 4 days! Did I say that I hate when he is gone?
By Thursday night, I was convicted (through the Holy Spirit and through a phone conversation with Ben) that I was relying too much on Ben's presence for my sense of security. (I almost don't know what to do with myself when he is away... does that ever happen to you?) So, after reading my bedtime devotional from "Utmost," I decided to journal out a prayer to the Lord to forgive me for not calling on him and to have a word that I could call on when I feel insecure. Here is an excerpt from my journal:
While I was writing this prayer, the Lord brought to my mind a line from one of my favorite memory passages: 2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness..." I am trying to grab on to this verse whenever I catch myself not relying on Him. It is not good for me to be alone, but I must remember who I need to rely on more! Thankfully, I have the Holy Spirit and a husband who remind me of these things!
On another note, we memorized Proverbs 1:7 a couple of weeks ago and the word discipline was really laying heavy on my heart. I realized (it was being affirmed everywhere around me: pastor, Bible study leader, friend conversations, books- does God talk to you that way???!!!) that I need more spiritual discipline. So, I feel compelled to do two things:
1. get up early to have some quiet time
2. start attending Bible Study Fellowship
My first class was just this morning. I am very excited/intimidated by this in-depth Bible study.
I will only be able to do these two things through the power of the Holy Spirit. Boy, am I a weak little woman! But, "when I am weak, then I am strong!" 2 Corinthians 12:10 (emphasis added) I just want to be "fruitful!"