Ben came home one evening and posed the question, "Have you ever found yourself enjoying the thought that someone else might want what you have?" My initial response was no, but as I tried to explain my answer, I became convicted that it is certainly something I have been guilty of. We kept talking, and then I remembered something that I had recently read in "Utmost" (as we call it). I definitely struggle to get specific with God about my sins. Do you?
The next day I read a chapter in The Pursuit of God about removing self-sin in order to see God ("Removing the Veil," Chapter III).
"It is the veil of our fleshly fallen nature, living on, unjudged within us, uncrucified and unrepudiated... It is not too mysterious... nor is it hard to identify. We have but to look in our own hearts and we shall see it there... an enemy to our lives and an effective block to our spiritual progress... It is woven of the fine threads of the self-life, the hyphenated sins of the human spirit. They are not something we do, they are something we are, and therein lies both their subtlety and their power... the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love... They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them."Then Sunday morning, we discussed self-ambition during Bible study, based on the story of Abimelech in Judges chapter 9. A verse that Ben & I memorized echoes the message: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4.
Needless to say, God is speaking to me about selfishness. I am praying for a changed heart. Our memory verse this week is a continuation of a passage that we already memorized. Jeremiah 17:9-10 says,
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."Search my heart, show me specifics; mold my heart to be sensitive to the needs of others; may the light of God illuminate my short-comings!
Freezer week!!! My group is down to only 5 members this month, so I only have to prepare 8 meals to send; makes it a little easier, but that means less food for the month. I will post the recipes soon.