9 Years Later... {What I did not imagine as an engaged girl}

I'm linking up for Thrive at Home Thursday hosted by Jenni and Amy, two awesome Christian bloggers.


Ben and I got engaged nine years ago* today! We were married three months later!!! Yup- three months!

Life was so different then... Time has FLOWN by! My heart has changed so much since then. I thought I'd share a few things that I never thought about back then:

I never knew it would be so much intentional work. I always heard people say that marriage was hard work, but of course you can't understand something fully until you experience it. Fighting my human nature/flesh of putting myself first takes God's help and intention on my part. I don't have to be "right"every time.   

Source

I never knew we would change so much- together. God has rocked our world, but our world is just that: ours. It's not Ben's world and April's world.  So when life smacks us in the face, we go to God together; we struggle together; we learn together... so we have changed together. You could call it marital sanctification, I suppose. 

I never knew marriage would make me closer to God. As most people in their early twenties believe, I had it all figured out nine years ago. I thought that life could not be any sweeter. I thought that our love as a couple was what it would be like forever. I seriously believed that we would have fun all the time, smile all the time, be romantic all the time, make good decisions all the time. But that hasn't been so. Life has not been all rainbows and roses. Our love has changed. We don't have fun and smile all the time. Romance is not all day every day, though there has been plenty. And we have had disagreements and made some not so good decisions. But one thing has stayed the same: God's love for us. For every moment that I have felt disappointed or ashamed or sad, God has been there to remind me where my true sense of identity and satisfaction should be. Thankfully, Ben reminds me of this too. (And it takes the pressure off of him.)  My life is not defined by or even valued based on my level of happiness, success of relationships, quality of decisions, behavior of my children, etc. The root of my life and existence should be my heart connected to the heart of God. So when not-so-happy marriage moments happen, I don't have to worry (read Romans 8:28).

Our love has grown exponentially as a result of the "hard" stuff; not because we've done anything right, but because our eyes are on Jesus. Our marriage will continue to grow and change. But I would not want it any other way! God has done so much in these nine years, and I cannot wait to see where we are in another nine. 

Thank you, Ben, for directing our marriage and family to a life in pursuit not of this world, but of righteousness. 

Part of our engagement page from our wedding scrapbook

Note: This post was written originally on March 12, 2014. 

Feeding My Husband

I love serving my husband. It brings me joy to "take care" of him. One of the things that I especially enjoy doing is preparing his meals. Since we were first married, I have always made an effort to get his breakfast ready for him. I am anti-cereal-for-breakfast-unless-you-put-it-over-Greek-yogurt, and he is pro-cereal because it's quick. I prefer to have something with more nutritional substance to it, and he is very appreciative of my efforts.

Today I'm linking up with Amy at Gospel Homemaking for Thrive at Home Thursday. 

Friday Favorites (2/21)

Hey, hey! It's Friday! I love weekends, don't you? Since Ben works fairly long hours Monday through Friday, we relish our time together from the time he walks in the door on Friday evening until he leaves Monday morning. 

Here are some of my favorite happenings from this week:

Favorite moment: 

Going out to dinner at El Paso for my birthday with Ben and the kids. I had the tacos de carne asada. Sooo yummy!

Favorite read:

Teachings of Jesus in Matthew on marriage and divorce. 

Favorite Workout:

I've been kinda lazy this week, but I did get 3 miles in at the gym yesterday and felt great. 

Kid-favorite:

Playing outside ALL afternoon on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday! The weather has been incredible! Rush is in heaven- he's been going shirtless! 

Favorite meal:

Ham and Swiss croissant casserole (NOT healthy) with orange poppyseed spinach salad. 

Favorite blog reads:

Healthy Living: 

Brittany's post on shopping at Trader Joe's. 

Running: 

Jen's post on deciding to run a marathon 6 months post-partum. 

Parenting: 

The MOB Society's post on How Not to Raise a Godly Man (can't wait to read the free e-book). 

Faith:

Becky's post on God's provision. 

I shared earlier this week that we are going for a family hike tomorrow, and I am super excited! Hiking is possibly my favorite thing to do with Ben.

Photo from 2011- same trail that we're hiking tomorrow

Because of our plans tomorrow, I am planning to do my long run late this afternoon into this evening. I do not typically have good results when I run late in the day, but this is really my only opportunity to get it in. The marathon is just 5 weeks away!

Ben is teaching on the importance of community within the church this Sunday. I'm so proud of how is he growing as a leader/teacher. I'm learning that our spiritual gifts may not be what we would expect based on our natural personalities (post on this coming soon).

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Do you get excited for weekends?

What's your favorite family activity?

Sweet Somethings

The last few days have been really fun. We've been celebrating Valentine's Day since Friday, and started my birthday celebrations yesterday. Here's a quick re-cap:

Friday night dinner at home with my three favorite valentines. We had quiche, and I pulled out the homemade cheesecake after the kids went to bed.

Ben and I watched Pride and Prejudice. 

Saturday morning we went to the gym, and I did not do my 16 miles. I only did 8. Oh well! 

We had our close friends, Chris and Buck and their kids over for dinner and I made my mom's spinach lasagna recipe and a new recipe for cauliflower soup. It was good! Chris (my best friend and running partner) made a chocolate cake covered in strawberries for dessert. It was yummy! I made some of my brother-in-law's decaf to go with it. Yay for fresh-roasted coffee!

Sunday afternoon was when Ben had made his secret plans for our Valentine's Day. After church, his parents took our kids and we went to the Melting Pot with my sister and her husband and their newborn baby girl. We had a great time. The conversations were goofy, serious, Biblical, and fulfilling. After evening church, we put the kids to bed and I turned on the TV to watch the Olympics. I wasn't into what was on, so I flipped it over to PBS because I knew Downton Abbey was on. We have been HUGE fans of the show in the past three seasons, but we missed the first episode this season (no, we don't have DVR, nor do we have cable or satellite), so we haven't been watching it. I had just changed the channel to PBS and Ben walked in to the room. I said, "I can't take it anymore! I have to watch it even though we haven't seen any other episodes!" Ben said, let's go in the bedroom to watch it. I reminded him that we do not have any TV watching capabilities in our room except DVDs. But he persisted, and I started to get the hint. I suddenly heard the theme song playing in the bedroom, and then I knew- he had bought season 4! Yay for husbands who like Downton!!! He also gave me a sweet card and an amazing Lindt dark chocolate-cranberry-almond bar. Such a great ending to a sweet day! I love that Ben Mills so much!

Yesterday was my birthday. Ben and the kids and I went out for Mexican food last night so I had the night off from cooking and cleaning! When we got home Ben handed me a small package and some papers. I opened the papers first, and I saw that they were downloads of the soundtracks to Fiddler on the Roof and The Sound of Music. The package was the DVD of the original TV airing of Mary Martin's Peter Pan!!! It was my childhood favorite, and Ben has been wanting to get it for me for years! I can't believe I finally own it! So sweet of him!

We are going out for breakfast with all of family to celebrate my birthday on Saturday morning, then going for a family hike. The weather is supposed to be perfect! I am really excited about being in the mountains!

Speaking of our families, I have been reflecting on how blessed Ben and I are to both have parents with marriages still in tact. I'm so grateful for this heritage. 

So much in my Bible studying lately has been about marriage. I definitely believe that when coincidences happen, they are not just that- it is something God is trying to get my attention on!

In BSF, we are in Matthew 19; and I shared that Ben's lesson last week in Sunday morning Bible study was on our marriage to Christ and how earthly marriage is meant to be a reflection of it. A couple of things have really struck a chord with me:

• How serious God is about how much he hates divorce.
• How our union with Christ is so much more important than anything else, even our earthly marriages. 
• How marriage is not just something you do once. It's something you choose to do every day. 

I would love for any of you to share any insight or Biblical/spiritual knowledge that you have on these points. 

I hope you're all having a great week!

I want to know:

What's your favorite musical?

What was your favorite childhood movie?

Growing Love

There's a super-well known book out there called The Five Love Languages. If you haven't read it with your spouse, you should. In a nutshell, the author, Dr. Gary Chapman, has studied all the ways that can make a person feel the most loved and put them into five categories. The book helps you understand what makes your spouse feel the most loved, and as a result, grows your love for each other. 

The biggest eye-opener for me personally was realizing that, often, if I am focused on trying to love my husband in a particular way, it is actually what I am wishing what he would do for me. Realizing this has been great for our marriage because now we are sensitive to it. If I am suddenly searching on Trip Advisor for weekend getaways while Ben is at work and sending him emails about said searches, then he knows I need quality time. If I am telling him more than usual how handsome and visually appealing he is, he can probably guess that I need to hear something similar (but of course not necessarily). 

Having read this book together opens conversation too. We can easily ask each other, "What could I do for you today that would make you feel loved?," and it isn't awkward. From day to day, and even minute to minute, the answer to that question could change. But most people have one or two "biggies" that keep their "love tank" (a Dr. Chapman phrase) full. Mine is a melding of gifts and acts of service. If I know that Ben has been thinking about me, I feel loved. So when he sends me a random text just to say I love you, or swings by a drugstore to grab a bag of truffles my heart is confident in his love for me. The bonus for Ben is that when I feel loved, I am more motivated to show him love- and I'm not necessarily consciously aware of it. 

When Ben willingly, without any hints from me (hints are OK sometimes) does something like this, he is loving me unselfishly. He is making some kind of sacrifice on my behalf (it may feel like a sacrifice when you do something for your spouse that does not come naturally). He is proving his faithfulness to me and confirming our pure love for one another. He is reflecting the pure, unselfish love of our sweet Savior, Jesus. There is no greater love than this! "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

In case you haven't heard, Valentine's Day is Friday. If you have ever been frustrated that your spouse does not understand how to love you, I highly encourage you to read this book together. Since you probably won't finish it by Friday though, I challenge you to go ahead and ask your spouse the question "What can I do to make you feel the most loved?" And then gently and lovingly explain what would make you feel loved (it's likely to be whatever you've been doing for your spouse). 

Honest heartfelt conversations like that can really grow your marriage. But more than that, you must ask for God's help. After you have the conversation with your spouse, pray together and ask God to help you love each other in such a way that builds each of you up, to perform these acts of love wholeheartedly and unselfishly, and to help you be that reflection of our union with Christ as individuals. 

I pray that your love for your spouse grows as you seek God's help in serving each other this Valentine's Day. 

Have you read The Five Love Languages?

What are you doing for your spouse this Valentine's Day?

If you're looking for ways to spice up the romance this Valentine's Day head on over to To Love Honor and Vacuum and check out today's steamy post on sex. I'm linking up for today's Wifey Wednesday. 

Monday is...

Hey y'all! I'm writing a quick post here after sleeping in {cue the angels singing} on a mini vacation with just my sweet husband. We're skiing- one of our favorite things to do together. 

On to my Monday...

Monday is: recovering from the experience of taking two toddlers to Urgent Care on Sunday morning based on instinct. Diagnosis: double ear infections for both. 

Monday is: having awesome in-laws who wanted to keep the kids anyway. 

Monday is: having a church that offers live streaming so that the Holy Spirit can speak to you in your dining room when your kids are sick. 

Monday is: praying for a dear friend's dad who is undergoing major heart surgery today. 

Monday is: praising God for His grace and protection in my life! I have such a long way to go in maturity as a Christian, but I have so many wonderful resources- Godly husband, family, friends, church family, Christ in me- to push me forward (in a good way). 

Philippians 1:6 says, "And I am sure of this: that he who began a work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

I am so thankful that God encourages me by letting me know that His work is ongoing in my life. 

Have a great week!

What are some of your favorite activities to do with your spouse?

Babies and Marriage! Friday Favorites (1/31)

Hey y'all! I am so glad it's the weekend. Aren't you? We've got cabin fever here at the Mills house. The kids were sick for the better part of last week and beginning of this week, and then we got snowed-in on Tuesday. But we have some fun stuff on deck for the weekend. 

Here are some of my favorite things from the past week:

Our new niece, Aubrey, was born on Tuesday morning!!! When Ben got home from work we took a snowy drive to the hospital to see her. 

 We went out for Mexican food afterward which was a treat since we rarely eat out during the week. And we took some back to the hospital for my sis and her husband. :)

Helping Ben lay-out our next Bible study lesson. The main idea is that as Christians we are married to Christ and there are many blessings that come from that. It has been really cool to see the way that earthly marriage reflects these blessings/benefits. 

Our dear, long-time friends, Brittany and John-David, were blessed with a baby boy! Their adoption story has been incredible, and it has been a privilege to pray for them and see God's work. 

Getting a gym membership! I have not had one in a couple of years, and I am so excited. We all went one evening, and the kids loved the childcare room! (Happy mommy dance.) I did part of Sarah's interval workout (again) and some extra leg stuff. Ben even ran beside me for a little while. 

Good reads from the blog world:

Becky's post on real love.

Brittany's post on meal planning. 

The Better Mom (Rachel's) post on mommy-anger. 

Brittany's posts on their adoption. 

Mmmisformommy's crockpot ribs recipe which I'm making tonight. Reviews are rave so they better be good. 

My post on grace. 

We're having friends over for dinner tonight (that's why the ribs better be good). I am running 10 miles in the morning for marathon training, and we are going to try to get together with my sister's family tomorrow afternoon/evening so the "big kids" can play.

 I am most excited about the getaway that Ben and I leaving for after church Sunday morning to go skiing in West Virginia. 

Have an awesome weekend!

What do you have planned?

Marvelous Monday! And My Non-Perfect Life Disclaimer...

Sometimes I worry that this blog can come off as my "highlight reel." So before I spout off all the great stuff that I experienced this weekend, I want to be clear that my life is not all rainbows and roses. I yell at my kids; I feel depressed and lonely sometimes; Ben and I have marital conflict; I stray from my relationship with The Lord. Thankfully, the God that I seek to serve is gracious, and He forgives my shortcomings when I ask; He comforts me when I feel down. <---- This tidbit of info is "marvelous" enough to never write another blog post again! But, since the title of this post is Marvelous Monday, I'll go ahead and share a few things from our weekend...

Friday night triple date to Cheesecake Factory:

Ben and me

Me, my sis, and future sis-in-law (Sorry for the bad photo. Lighting inside CF is bad for pics.)

I  had the Chicken Madeira, which was good. But my favorite was the cheesecake: Kahlua Cocoa Coffee, and it was AMAZING!

Saturday morning trip to the Rainforest Zoo. 

We have a season pass but have not been since the summer. They had some new animals, so we had an extra-fun time learning about them!

Saturday afternoon outside playtime.

The rain cleared, so we got to get some fresh air. :)

Awesome Lord's day!

Ben did an amazing job teaching on Jeremiah 17:5-10. Our pastor's sermon on the importance of being dedicated to your local church was bold and convicting. 

I made a new soup/stew in my Crock-pot using Bob's Red Mills Vegi Soup Mix. (Recipe soon!) 

The evening sermon from Titus was spot-on for me as well. After church, Ben said, "Pastor Dan has perfected the art of humble boldness," and I could not agree more. We are blessed with a great church and pastor. 

Sunday afternoon run.

It was a beautiful afternoon. I rarely see this route in daylight, so I had a special appreciation for the view along the way. 

Hope you have a marvelous Monday!

Thanks to Katie at Healthy Diva Eats for hosting this link-up!

What We're Doing (and how we got here)

Thanksgiving weekend was so wonderful for our family! It was crazy driving all over the county multiple times, but totally worth it. Plus, the kids were so worn out every day that we actually got to sleep-in a couple of mornings until 7:30!!! We are blessed to have my parents and grandparents and Ben's parents all living close-by, not to mention all of the extended family as well. Family is so important to us, and we want our kids to see the treasure that it is. 

I have expressed in another blog post that my heart has been overflowing with thankfulness to God over the last couple of months. If you follow me on Facebook, you probably saw my status on Thanksgiving day, so this will be redundant, but I think it is worth saying again: I am most thankful that God's plans are far better than any plans we can come up with. 

 

 

What I did not share on Facebook is the main reason for my feeling this way. If you care to know, read on.

About one year ago, Ben and I began to feel a longing for more fellowship with like-minded couples/families for the purpose of discipleship, i.e., growing in our faith in God through intentional friendships where Christ is the focus, and accountability is found. For several reasons, connections just weren't happening for us. Ben has always worked out of the town that we live in, and has developed close relationships with several of his co-workers who live in Knoxville (work town). As a result, we have become friends with their families, and they are the very type of people that we were longing to have friendships with. But it is hard to do couple/family fellowship-discipleship because we live in separate towns. The situation was more like Ben had his friends there, and I had my friends here. I am not at all discrediting the friends that we had right in front of us.  They are all still our friends and people that we consider gifts from God.

But.... we decided to try to sell our house so we could move to Knoxville and start getting planted there. At the same time that we put our house on the market, a new friendship started to grow for me, and out of that, a new friendship for our whole family. It was my sweet running partner, Chris and her precious family. Also at the same time, God reignited a friendship with a couple that we had been close with before we all had our kids. A few months later, my sister and her family (who are our closest friends) announced that they were moving back home after living away at seminary for 5 years. 

God was working. 

We were still saying that moving was for us, but my heart was changing. My eyes were opening. I caught myself thinking, "I don't want to leave so-and-so. I don't want to change churches. I don't want to be further from our families."

"Trust in The Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

All of the time, I had this vision in the back of my mind of Ben and me in a leadership position together, but had no path for it. I was asked to join a start-up team for a new ladies' Bible study in our church. I agreed, and was soon asked if I would be willing to fill the role of substitute teacher. I resisted (in my flesh) because I had never "taught" anything before other than exercise classes, and I certainly couldn't use Zumba moves to teach the Gospel; so I had to go out of my comfort zone, but finally agreed after much prayer. (If you are wondering why Ben and I do not attend Sunday morning Bible study together, it is because he has been serving in the third grade Sunday school as a teacher for the last two years.)

In the meantime, Ben began expressing his doubts about moving to Knoxville. Needless to say, we were getting discouraged about the selling of our house because it hadn't happened yet, but at the same time, we were relieved that we hadn't sold quickly and then regretted moving away. Oh, how God looks out for us!

Most recently, for about the last two months, Ben has been going to a men's accountability group that is part of the "young marrieds" class at our church. They invited Ben because they knew he was not part of an adult class, and that he is quite awesome when it comes to small group discussion of God's Word! (OK, so maybe they didn't know that yet, but I already did, and they must know now!) It has been a great opportunity for Ben to share his struggles and his experience/knowledge gained with slightly younger guys.

We knew that the current class teachers were stepping down to fill another role in the church, but we didn't know it would affect us since we weren't in the class. But... about a month ago, Ben and I were asked to consider taking over the class. We were surprised and honored, humbled but standoffish. We first thought, "We can't leave the classes that we're in. It will put the leaders in a hard place trying to fill our positions." I can't speak for Ben but I also had thoughts like, "I don't have time to prepare a lesson every week, and I don't have enough knowledge." But after much prayer and hearing sound advice from our "Equipping Pastor," and receiving confirmation in other ways, we realized that this is what God has been preparing us for all along. We realized that we had our own vision: moving, get planted somewhere new, maybe becoming small group leaders in our 40s or 50s (when we would be more wise and mature). But that is not where God has lead us. His path has been different from what we expected, but so much richer.

Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of man plans his way, but The Lord establishes his steps." 

The path:

Wanting deeper friendships--->

OK, let's move--->

Our house not selling--->

Friendships blossoming--->

Each of us learning to lead separately--->

Our hearts beginning to change regarding moving--->

Accountability group--->

Being asked to lead the young marrieds, and getting our hearts filled with the kind of fellowship we have been longing for!

Oh, how He cares for us!

So... We are very excited. And nervous! We want the class to be a place where the couples can learn how to be honest with each other while showing God's grace and consideration of their spouse. And hopefully, as Ben and I are learning, they can learn how the Gospel applies daily in the marriage relationship.

 

I can say with confidence that all of this story is a result of "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness..." (Exodus 34:6)

By the way, we could use all the prayers we can get. Satan has already started throwing darts at us since we made our decision, but I'll have to save that for another post! ;)

An Old Habit I'll Never Break

If  you've read a few of my posts, you've most likely seen me mention scripture memory. Of all of the habits that I have tried to pick up, it's one that I have actually stuck with, and I'll tell you why: it has truly changed my life. Psalm 119:9-11 says,

"How can a young man (or woman) keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you. Let me not wonder from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

The results of "hiding God's word in my heart" have been amazing! Almost immediately after I memorized the first passage, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, God started using it to gently remind me not to complain about temporal circumstances. God has also revealed to me the importance of confessing my faults not only to Him, but to a trusted believer, and then asking for prayer to overcome the sin (James 5:16). Silently meditating through all of our passages got Ben through his first marathon in April, and one verse in particular stood out to him:

Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize?  So run to win!  All athletes are disciplined in their training.  They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.  So I run with purpose in every step.  I am not just shadowboxing.  I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.  Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Through developing this habit, God has changed my heart, resulting in a changed thought process. When conflicts arise, when stress hits me in the stomach, when my friends are hurting, when my toddler is disobeying, I have the wisdom of God stored inside to direct me. I've been re-programmed.

My idle time is spent differently. Couch time does not always involve TV watching- instead we will "quiz" each other; and car rides have definitely become more interesting. Even Rush, our 3-year-old has started memorizing verses. Here's where I got his plan.

Speaking of re-programming, our pastor issued a challenge to our church yesterday morning (the last Sunday of  2012) to read one chapter of the Bible a day for all of 2013. In his sermon about the importance of knowing God's Word, he explained that being in God's word as a habit will re-program our minds. I can attest to that this is absolutely true! 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (one of our memorized passages) says:

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

 I feel trained and equipped more than ever! But there is still so much more for me to learn! I am so, so thankful for the blessing of God's Holy Word, and I cannot wait to see what I learn from it in 2013! I urge you to join me in memorizing one verse or passage per week and reading one chapter a day this new year. If you need a reading plan, visit our church website. You will also find a link to our pastor's blog where he will be sharing his thoughts on each day's reading.

I pray that 2013 is a year full of new wisdom for you as you make every effort to get to know Him more and more!

It's Not Good For Woman to be Alone

Ben was gone most of last week... I really hate it when he's gone... have I mentioned that?

 

He left on Wednesday morning and came home on Saturday evening. Not only was this a longer-than-usual work trip, but it came after a long weekend; I had been spoiled with his presence (one of the dialects of my love language) so it was extra hard to have him gone for 4 days! Did I say that I hate when he is gone?

 

By Thursday night, I was convicted (through the Holy Spirit and through a phone conversation with Ben) that I was relying too much on Ben's presence for my sense of security. (I almost don't know what to do with myself when he is away... does that ever happen to you?) So, after reading my bedtime devotional from "Utmost," I decided to journal out a prayer to the Lord to forgive me for not calling on him and to have a word that I could call on when I feel insecure. Here is an excerpt from my journal:

 

While I was writing this prayer, the Lord brought to my mind a line from one of my favorite memory passages: 2 Peter 1:3 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness..." I am trying to grab on to this verse whenever I catch myself not relying on Him. It is not good for me to be alone, but I must remember who I need to rely on more! Thankfully, I have the Holy Spirit and a husband who remind me of these things!

 

DISCIPLINE

On another note, we memorized Proverbs 1:7 a couple of weeks ago and the word discipline was really laying heavy on my heart. I realized (it was being affirmed everywhere around me: pastor, Bible study leader, friend conversations, books- does God talk to you that way???!!!) that I need more spiritual discipline. So, I feel compelled to do two things:

1. get up early to have some quiet time

2. start attending Bible Study Fellowship

My first class was just this morning. I am very excited/intimidated by this in-depth Bible study.

 

I will only be able to do these two things through the power of the Holy Spirit. Boy, am I a weak little woman! But, "when I am weak, then I am strong!" 2 Corinthians 12:10 (emphasis added) I just want to be "fruitful!"

Stirring Up!

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near," Hebrews 10:24-25.

This was our memory passage a couple of weeks ago, chosen by me for a reason. Earlier this summer I shared some of my thoughts on community and how much we need each other as Christians. My inspiration was sparked after being in close contact with a group of people that belong to a Care Group (as their church calls it) and after reading a chapter in How People Change called "Change is a Community Project" (chapter 5). So here are my thoughts:

We are saved; we thank God for all our blessings; we go to church (and maybe even Bible Study); we listen to Christian music; we serve in a ministry; we pray before we eat; we tell others that we are Christians. But how do we grow? How are we sanctified? How can we be motivated to stay on track in our Christian walk? Besides our personal relationship with God, I believe that real, intentional, intimate relationships with other believers is the way we can do all of this and thus produce more "love and good works."

Wouldn't it be awesome to have a group of people to share your thoughts and questions with about what you study? (This could be an entire other post, but I feel that Bible-talk should be in our everyday language and conversations SO much more than it is!) I would love to be able to share my sin struggles with a small group of ladies that I admire & trust. James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." This is just one of many verses about the benefits of "community" that motivates/convicts me to be more intentional in my friendships.

So, Ben & I have been inspired to, with the help of the Lord, foster some REAL relationships with other Christian families. It is SO hard to do this when you have little ones! (And our weak minds keep coming up with these and other excuses.) Please pray for us as we attempt to do something that we feel very ill-equipped for. More on the specifics later...

I have recently added Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer to my library thanks to my brother-in-law. I was talking to him about small groups and community within the body, and he bought the book for us as a gift. I can't wait to read it with Ben! My favorite line on the back description says, "Life Together is bread for all who are hungry for the real life of Christian fellowship."

Here is a picture of Ben and Lottie with Jared, our brother-in-law.

Recently, someone told me that their purpose for being in a small group was to live out all of the "one-anothers" from Scripture, so I looked them up. (This is not a comprehensive list.):

Love one another John 13:34
show mercy and compassion to one another Zechariah 7:9
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10
Live in harmony with one another.  12:16
Accept one another Romans 15:7
encourage one another 2 Corinthians 13:11
serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Ephesians 5:19
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus Philippians 2:5
Bear with each other and forgive one another Colossians 3:13
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Colossians 3:16
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Hebrews 13:1
we have fellowship with one another 1 John 1:7


I am pretty far behind on updating our family happenings...

Some of you know that Rush had walking pneumonia last week right before our annual trip to Hilton Head, SC. He is doing MUCH better now, and we did get to take our vacation. (More on that later...)

Ben had been traveling A LOT, but he has been home for a couple of weeks now. :)

We are reading The Five Love Languages together. I had read it a long time ago and then again about a year ago. It is a great marriage-builder. I HIGHLY recommend it! My love language is Receiving Gifts (it's a mixture of the gift of your presence & acts of service/gifts). Do you know your love language???

Freezer Group is next week already!!! I have got to get cooking! I will post my recipes soon.

My Guy

Ben was out of town most of last week. I don't like when he is gone, but it gave me the chance to make his homemade Father's Day gift without the risk of him seeing it. He loved it!

I am so thankful that Ben is the father of my children. Knowing that I never have to worry about what examples he is setting for them is such a comfort & blessing. May I take a moment to brag? I could list a million things that Ben does for our children that I know will have a positive eternal impact, but here are a few of my favorites:

He prays with them and for them, and now Rush is starting to pray too.
He sings Bible songs with them. Rush knows the books of the Bible because they enjoy singing together so much!
He gives them hugs and kisses freely.
He loves me in front of them so that Rush will know his role and Lottie will know what to look for.

In case you can't tell, I am so proud of my husband. We celebrated our 7th anniversary on Sunday. Without going into too much detail, I will simply say this has been the hardest year, but the BEST year! God has changed our view of what life is really about and it has altered our relationship with Him and with each other. Every day we are learning how to better love each other; how to encourage each other, how to lovingly suggest changes, how to talk about our thoughts, feelings & weaknesses. Our marriage had always been "good," and we thought we were living the "right" way, but here's what Oswald Chambers says about settling for "good and right" in life:

"Whenever our right becomes the guiding factor of our lives, it dulls our spiritual insight. The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best."

Here's a picture from our wedding:

I want to live my BEST for the Lord and for my husband! I can't do it in my own strength. But if I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit (achieved through study, prayer, repentance, etc.) and my husband is too, then together, we will strengthen each other as individuals and become stronger as a couple, as we strive to do our BEST for His glory.

This leads me to share the verse that I am memorizing this week:

"The end of all things is near.  Therefore, be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:7-8 

On a much less serious note:
We had our first PEP Moms steering committee meeting last week. Well, it was our first with our new committee and me as the director (yikes!).  I prayed a lot before the meeting that things would go well; that our committee would be completed (we had a couple of vacancies), that the conversation would go smoothly, and that we could leave feeling like we got something accomplished. The meeting went very well; it was basically a brainstorming session on speakers and topics for our upcoming year (September-April) and ideas for summer activities and outings.


Some of the summer activities include playdates at our church playground, free movie day at the theater, Safety City in Knoxville, and a few other possibilities. We try to do things that are free/low-cost and group-friendly. Do you have any ideas for us?

Good Company & Week in a Nutshell, plus 2 recipes!

This past week has been a blur! Ben was out of town Monday night for work and Tuesday we found out that we would possibly have some visitors from the College at Southeastern. I taught a yoga class on Wednesday morning, and Thursday we had our weekly playgroup at the park (more on playgroups in a another post). We also played outside with the neighbors in most all of our free-time each day. Dinner was easy this week since I participated in my first freezer group swap last Friday. Groceries were just the staples; so managing the Restaurant Mills was a breeze.


So, the visitors did come on Thursday night. It was a group of four girls (3 students & 1 wife of a seminary student plus their baby girl) from the college/Open Door Baptist Church in Raleigh, where my sister and brother-in-law are in ministry. The girls were in town to support a friend who is from our area whose dad passed away earlier in the week. I was blessed watching them make the sacrifice to travel quite a long way on their first day of summer vacation to be here for a sister-in-Christ. They really just wanted to "love on" their friend- and they did. I was also impressed by how seriously these girls took the responsibility of taking care of fellow believers. I am sure that it was a blessing to this girl to know how much she is cared for by her friends.


This got me thinking about how much we need each other as a community. Coincidentally (I know there are no coincidences), I read the chapter in "How People Change" (check out my reading list on the homepage) about community this week. The authors write about how we avoid meaningful relationships because they require a lot of work; that many Christians try to work through life alone, but that is not what God has intended for us. Of course, our individual relationships with Christ are of utmost importance, but when we are in CLOSE community with fellow believers, we are singularly sharpened. James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective." "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another:" Proverbs 27:17 is another reminder from the Bible of how much we need each other.


This subject of community has been on my mind since last fall. It started when I had a conversation with my sister about how tight they are with their "Care Group." I want to study more about community within the church body. It is clear that God is putting the subject at my fingertips: even my pastor's sermon was on the importance fellowship (with Christ & with others) this Sunday! (The sermon should be up sometime this week, but you can check out some others in the meantime!) I hope to post more soon about my thoughts on community.

Our Weekend!
It seems like our weekends have been so busy lately with the marathon in Nashville & Ben's 30th birthday then Mother's Day. So I had really been looking forward to this weekend since our only plan was to go to the National Park to Elkmont Campground on Saturday for lunch with some great friends.


Friday evening we ended up going on a DATE!!! The BBQ & Bluegrass event was happening, so we went and walked around downtown, got some BBQ, a funnel cake & homemade strawberry ice cream (I need to run a marathon). It was nice to have some time out without the kids. It seems our only alone time lately is in our living room after both kids are in bed. But I'll take that over nothing!

The picnic at Elkmont was awesome! I was nervous about the kids not getting naps, but it all worked out fine. The weather was perfect; the fellowship was great and so was the food!

The kids fell asleep in the car on the way back, and we took the scenic route home- such a pretty drive! Ben mowed the yard when we got back home while I got the kids ready for bed. Once we got the kids to bed we ate our pizza and watched "Top Gun" via Netflix! I hadn't seen that movie in years, and it still cracks me up! It was a fun date-at-home. I also made one of our date-at-home staples: homemade chocolate chip cookies.

1 stick of butter @ room temperature, 3/8 cup packed dark brown sugar, 3/8 cup granulated sugar, 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract, 1 large egg, 1 1/8 cups all-purpose flour, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/4-1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional), 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350*. Mix butter, sugars, vanilla & egg with mixer or wooden spoon until well combined. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt (do not over mix). Stir in nuts and chocolate chips. Using a teaspoon sized regular spoon, scoop out 12 heaping spoonful portions onto baking sheet. This will use about half of the cookie dough so you can refrigerate the rest for later. Bake for about 8 minutes. Let stand on cookie sheet for 3-5 minutes before you gobble them up with a cold glass of milk!

That reminds me: since supper was so easy this week, I got to make one of Ben's favorite treats on Friday: homemade banana bread.

1 stick of butter (I always bake with unsalted, but salted would be fine), 2 ripe bananas, 1 tsp. vanilla, 3/4 cup granulated sugar, 2 eggs, 2 cups whole wheat all-purpose flour (self rising can be used; eliminate the baking powder & salt), 1/4 cup chopped walnuts (almonds or pecans would work too) (optional)

Preheat oven to 350*. Cream butter & mash bananas & vanilla into the butter. Add the sugar and eggs, mix well. Stir in flour, baking powder, salt & nuts. Do not over stir! Pour into greased loaf pan; bake for 40-45 minutes. You may need to put the pan close to the top rack of the oven the 15 minutes or so. Just check it!

We made it to church on time for Bible Study for the first time in a while! I think it was a relief for Ben since he is always rushing off to help teach in 3rd grade. Church was great, as always, and we came home after the service was over- something we rarely do. It was nice to be home for the afternoon on a Sunday. I TOOK A NAP! And on that note, I think I'll stop rambling...

Any of you have a great small group that you love? Please share!

Love to you all who have taken the time to catch up with our family!

Storing up The Word & storing food

"I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11 ESV


Ben has been memorizing Bible verses & passages every week since last fall! I joined him in January and have been trying to catch up, so I double up some weeks. This week's passage is Colossians 1:15-16:

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him."

It has been challenging some weeks to really meditate on the verse or passage. It's easy to just memorize the words for "habit" or memorize just to say I did it. But when I am motivated by a desire to know Him and have a heart filled with His Word it is very fulfilling. Here's what Oswald Chambers says about "habits." http://utmost.org/the-habit-of-having-no-habits/. (It's a short read- click it!)


Speaking of Ol' Ozzie, Ben and I have also been reading "My Utmost for His Highest" daily devotional separately so that we can discuss it every day. I HIGHLY recommend it! It is hard to grasp sometimes because of the language of the day it was written in, but it is so to-the-point and in-your-face. It is very relevant and thought-provoking, and it doesn't take long to read. Ben got me the journal version for my birthday!


I have to say that memorizing scripture and having a serious spiritual subject to discuss has been GREAT for our marriage. Sometimes, you need a conversation starter, and what better conversation is there to have than one about our reason for being?! If you're not doing something relevant to eternity with your spouse, I would urge you to start today!


My first freezer group experience!

So, I have a friend that invited me to join her freezer group. I had heard of freezer groups before, but had no idea how they work. Basically, a small group of ladies meet once a month and swap meals that they have prepared and frozen ahead of time. We have 7 members currently (1 member is taking the summer off), so we prepare 6 of two different dishes (12 total) to swap. This month, since it is my first time, I tried to keep it simple. I made homemade Crockpot Teriyaki Chicken Tenders (recipe below) and Rachael Ray's Cheesy Hashbrown Chili Casserole http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/cheesy-hash-brown-chili/. I hope they are well-received! I brought home some yummy sounding stuff too! So far we have eaten sausage biscuit bites, stuffed shells & taco quiche. The shells were amazing! Rush ate three at a time! I want to get the recipe from the gal who made them. I am looking forward to trying the remaining 10 dishes in my freezer! I will keep y'all updated on how it goes.

Anyone have any good freezer recipes???

Here's the Teriyaki Recipe:
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken tenders (I am sure breasts or thighs would do fine too)
1 can (6 oz.) pineapple juice (sold in cases of 6)
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 TBsp sugar
1 TBsp minced fresh ginger or 1.5 tsp ground ginger
1 TBsp minced garlic or 1.5 tsp garlic powder
1 TBsp oil (I use extra virgin olive oil)
1 TBsp molasses
24 cherry tomatoes (optional)
1 cup chopped broccoli (optional)
1/2 cup matchstick carrots (optional)
steamed brown rice (about 2 cups will do)


Combine all ingredients in slow cooker except rice. Cook on high for 2-4 hours until chicken is not pink and veggies are cooked crisp-tender. Yummy!

Ideas...

I am still kind of surprised at myself for wanting to start a blog based on our family, but it hit me one day, and I figured, why not?! We're cool! ;) People might want to know what's going on in our lives here in the Mills house.

The ideas that I've come up with so far are here in no particular order:

updates on what's going on spiritually: scripture memory, sin struggles, Bible study, Rush's (and Lottie eventually) Bible learning, disciplining our children, book reviews/comments, friendship, marriage, family in general, etc.

updates on our activities: church, playdates, vacations, Ben's races, aerobics/yoga, PEP Moms https://www.facebook.com/pages/PEP-Moms-First-Baptist-Sevierville-TN/51037880408, Ben's work

updates on food in the Mills house: meal plans, my freezer group, grocery lists, new recipes, baby food recipes & tips

Baby Blog: cloth diapering thanksmama.com, breast feeding, baby food-making recipes & tips, feeding/sleeping, routine, pregnancy, growth & development, toddler activities, product reviews

cosmetic and household product reviews, tricks, and tips.

I am hoping that some of you out there will enjoy my ramblings and maybe even learn something useful. I want to be open & honest about who I am as a Christian wife & mother, stay-at-home-mom, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law & auntie. I desire for my life to be proof that "the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22 Hence, the name of our blog, "Fruitful Family."

Well, Lottie's awake; time to feed! ;)